Pain I Feel Inside
by McGeeOfTheSupernaturalTARDIS
Summary: McGee is in enough pain as it is. It only gets worse when a Navy Lieutenant has been murdered. But the question on everyone's mind is Who is this Lieutenant to McGee? Why is he so angry all the time? Read to find out! WARNING: This story contains self harm and minor mentions of child abuse, do not read if you do not like it.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:**

**This is my newest story, It's all McGee centered!**

**Warning: CONTAINS SELF HARM. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY NEGATIVE REVIEWS!**

**Disclaimer: If i owned NCIS i would have ensured McGee is married to Abby.**

**Chapter 1.**

Since the arrival of Ellie Bishop, Things in the Squad Room started to lighten up. Tony was returning to his usual prankster-self, Gibbs was...well he was still an ass. Abby was becoming friends with Bishop quicker than anticipated. But McGee was hollow, His work was what kept him going. But at home, McGee fell apart...

McGee wiped his face to conceal the tears. Sighing deeply he took a step out of the elevator and strolled to his desk. Tony and Bishop exchanged glances and smiled mischievously. "Okay whats going on?" McGee snapped. Tony flinched back into his seat. He stared at McGee in curiosity. "Whats eaten your pants McAngryPants?" Tony joked. Bishop hid her smile behind a cough. McGee rolled his eyes and continued to his desk. "Gear up, we got a dead Navy Lieutenant in Norfolk" Gibbs ordered as he strolled into the Squad Room. McGee, Tony and Bishop followed after him.

When they arrived, they were greeted by Ducky and Palmer. _Just another day..._Thought Gibbs as he supped the dregs out of his coffee. "McGee shoot, Tony and Bishop bag and tag" he ordered. Frowning, McGee made his way to the corpse. McGee froze in horror, he knew this man. "No..." McGee choked quietly. His heart constricted in his chest. He bolted away from the house tears spilled over his face. "McGee" Gibbs chased after him. McGee ignored his boss's order and continued to his car. Pulling away from the road he stopped for a second to meet Gibbs glare, then he sped off.

McGee arrived at his location, The park. He knew if he went home Gibbs would be there demanding an explanation he wasn't ready to give. McGee pulled out his combat knife that had been formally Ziva's. As he unbuttoned his cuflinks on his shirt he stared up at the mighty moon which shimmered in the sky. He then sliced his wrists, McGee was fascinated how the knife tore through his skin like butter. He wished for the pain to go away, eagerly slashing his wrists so he could feel physical pain instead of internal pain.

**A/N**

**I know it's short but there will be more chapters. **

**It is slightly rushed but i hope you enjoy it. Please do not give any negative comments as this is quite a serious topic and i am trying my best to ensure i do not get offensive to people who do self harm. **

**I bet your all curious as to who that man is...stay tuned to find out :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note:**

**Chapter 2 is finally here!**

**Sorry for the late update i was very low on inspiration and i am supposed to be revising right now...But since i've just read the reviews i thought i'd treat you to a new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I found the rights to own NCIS and i have hidden them under my bed (shhh!) **

**Chapter 2:**

McGee had phoned in sick to work for last week, when he actually just wanted to hide his emotional pain from the team...and Gibbs. But today, McGee had to face the wrath of returning back to NCIS. Biting his lower lip, he exited the elevator. His palms began to sweat. He could feel the tears well up in his eyes again. _NO! _McGee thought _I can do this. _

He strolled towards his desk, avoiding the curious glances Tony and Bishop threw at him. He plonked himself down on his chair, breathing a sigh of relief. "Probie!" Tony exclaimed. McGee swiveled his chair to face Tony. "so, you done throwing up your guts yet McSickly?" Tony taunted. McGee shot a _'piss off, Tony'_ look then returned himself to his computer. Tony frowned and made his way to McGee's desk. Tony then picked up McGee's trash can and dropped it over McGee's head and stalked back to his desk. Suddenly the entire bullpen burst out in laughter. McGee's heart sank. He dashed to the Head, throwing the trash can at Tony.

McGee couldn't hold it in. He sprinted around the corner from where the Head was and BUMP! McGee bashed right into Gibbs. "McGee!" Gibbs shouted in anger. But McGee merely glanced at Gibbs before sprinting away from him. Gibbs stood there wondering what was wrong with his agent.

McGee only just made it to the Heads before he burst into tears. _I'm just a joke to them..._McGee thought as he pulled his combat knife from his sock.

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Back in the Squad Room everyone had recovered from Tony's Trash prank. Gibbs stalked to Tony's desk. He folded his arms and raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "Whats wrong with McGee?" he asked. Tony looked up from the file he was working on and frowned. _McGee? Was he upset? Oh crap...I can't tell Gibbs... _Tony coughed "well Boss, Probie..uh..." he trailed off, not knowing what to say. Bishop removed her earphones "Oi!" Gibbs turned to Bishop who was sat cross-legged on formerly Ziva's desk. "Tony threw a Trash can on McGee's head and then McGee ran off" Bishop explained. Tony scratched his neck self-consciously._ I'm so dead. _Gibbs had turned a shade of deep purple and turned to his 'senior' field agent. "Where is he?" Gibbs asked, trying to keep the anger under control. Tony shrugged his shoulders and so did bishop. Gibbs grunted, then the phone rang.

"Gibbs here"

"it's Tobias"

"What do you want Tobias?"

"It's McGee"

"What about him?" Gibbs asked curtly

"Remember the dead Navy Lieutenant we found?"

"Yeah.."

"Well...he just so happens to be McGee's adopted brother"

"I gotta speak to McGe-" Gibbs started but was interrupted by Tobias.

"You wanna know the kicker?" Tobias asked

"What?"

"We found out that McGee was adopted...you wanna know who the father is?"

"who?" Gibbs demanded.

"You are"

**AFTER NOTE:**

**Muhahaha! Cliffhanger :] **

**What do you think of this chapter?**

**Let me know in the reviews!**

**Also Thanks for the positive reviews, i really appreciate them! :]**


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHORS NOTE:**

**OMG thank you for the nice reviews! **

**Here is the 3rd chapter to ease you of your cliffy pain...(lol)**

**McGee injury!**

**Disclaimer: Dang it! They took there rights back :'(**

**Chapter 3:**

Gibbs stood there in shock until McGee returned to his desk. McGee stared at his boss in curiosity then he shot a _whats wrong with him?_ glance. Bishop shrugged. McGee shuffled his papers awkwardly before confronting his boss. "uh..Gibbs, are you okay?" Gibbs cranked his neck to look at his so called 'son' and stalked off. McGee furrowed his eyebrows and continued to his paperwork. Tony laid back on his chair. "wake me up in a few Probie." McGee began typing furiously on his computer.

_What's wrong with Gibbs? Was it about me? _Questions invaded his mind, making it impossible for McGee to work. McGee swiveled on his chair, only to catch his wrist on an open metal draw. "CRAP!" McGee yelled in agony. Tony's eyes flung open and rushed to aid McGee. "Whats wrong?" Tony asked anxiously. McGee gripped his wrists to conceal the now reopened wounds. Tony grabbed McGee's arm, trying to see what the injuries were. "Tony go away, i don't need your help. you've humiliated me enough today." McGee slapped Tony's hand away and rushed to the elevator.

Once inside he undid his cufflinks to inspect his wrists. Six long crisscrossed scratches had now reopened fully. The crimson red blood dripped down his arm onto his white shirt. "Oh god, i have to see Abby" Tears welled up. He didn't want to tell anyone his secret. But he knew he had to, Besides Abby would understand. The blood flow got heavier, it was now a stream of blood which fell to the ground. Whimpering in pain he took off his shirt and wrapped it around his injured wrists. Just then the elevator came to a halt. The doors opened. And behind the doors was Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Shit! McGee put his hands behind his back and side-stepped away from his boss. "McGee...where is your shirt?" Gibbs asked in a concerned tone. McGee eyed his boss. He seemed to be avoiding McGee's face and it wasn't because of the shirt. McGee turned a shade of deep pink and gulped. "well sir..i...it's got a hole in it" McGee struggled. _Great one Timothy, because he isn't going to ask where the hole is..._McGee then awkwardly ran away to Abby's lab. Gibbs stepped in the elevator to notice a small pool of blood on the floor...

**A/N**

**This is a very very very short chapter as it is all i had time for :/**

**I do hope you enjoy it. Please keep it up with the nice reviews :]**

**See you later :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 is here!**

**I am really enjoying writing this story...**

**The story is now dragging me along for the ride..woo!**

**WARNING: There is mention of child abuse in this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: Oh no! The rights are in a maximum security cell...time to get the lock pick!**

**Chapter 4:**

McGee entered Abby's lab with tears streaming down his face. "Abby" McGee called. No answer. McGee sighed as he dashed over to the first aid kit. He poured the morphine over his wrists. McGee screamed in agony. Tears spilled over his eyes as he clenched his wrists. Working quickly, he dressed his wounds in a cotton bandage. Then he noticed that he had no shirt and was covered in blood.

Rolling his eyes, McGee threw his shirt in the trash can and made his way to a nearby sink. The cold water sent the blood spiraling down the plug hole. Once clean, McGee found a clean shirt that Abby borrowed from him a while back. Sighing he headed back to the squad room.

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McGee strolled into the Bullpen nervously. It was empty apart from Gibbs sitting at his desk filling some paper work. "McGee, we need to talk" Gibbs looked up into McGee's eyes. McGee raised his eyebrows and made his way to Gibbs desk. McGee nodded. Gibbs twiddled his thumbs uncomfortably before saying "McGee, you never told me you where adopted." McGee raised his eyes in surprise. He began to squirm in his chair. "Boss, i never told you because..." McGee trailed off, not knowing what to say next.

Gibbs could see that his lip was quivering. Gibbs sighed and moved closer to his agent. "Tell me everything McGee" Gibbs pleaded in a soft tone. McGee looked up and launched into his story. "When i was 10 i was becoming a bit on a nuisance in my family. I'd pull pranks, raid the fridge and sometimes i just talked. My mother had died during childbirth. I was then adopted by Admiral McGee, He told me how my mother had cheated on him before i was born." McGee looked down in shame. "My father began to hate me after time, Blamed me for Moms death. He'd hit me with his belt and he even stabbed me once. when he married Elena McGee, they had a child called Johnathan McGee. I was then the forgotten one. I learned to rely on myself. When i wanted to join NCIS he shunned me. Said i was an idiot, an outsider. He'd call me names and beat me. Then Johnathan would protect me from him. But then Sarah was born and Johnathan and the rest of the family had disowned me. I was alone Boss." McGee burst into tears.

Gibbs heart yearned for the boy. He wished he had been the father McGee needed. He could change. _Now or never Gibbs_ Gibbs thought to himself. "Tim, there's something i have to tell you" McGee rubbed his eyes to stare at his boss. Gibbs took a deep breath. "McGee, today i got a phone call, I found out something i never knew. And i regret not knowing sooner. Timothy,you are my biological son and i am so sorry for not finding out sooner." Gibbs walked over to his son and embraced him.

**AFTER NOTE:**

**aww...so he knows who his real father is :3**

**I bet your wondering what happens next aren't you?**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter :]**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yay! Chapter 5 is here!**

**I want to thank all my reviewers, my followers and of course all my readers. Without you guys i don't think this story would have made it past it's second chapter. **

**don't worry Tony will get his just desserts soon ;)**

**I'm considering bringing some McABBY into this story, shall i? (let me know in the reviews)**

**Disclaimer: Got the rights! But now i'm a wanted criminal D:**

**Chapter 5:**

It had been over a week since McGee and Gibbs had their talk. Things were taking a turn on McGee. He would cry less, But his self harming issues were still unsolved. Every night when he was at home he would take out his knife and create some new scars. McGee still felt as if there was something missing, Like someone had cut a chunk out of his heart.

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It was a boring Friday morning in the Squad room. Everyone was stuck on cold case duty. Glancing out of the window, McGee sighed and took a sip from his coffee. Tony had began doing his usual mucking about. He pulled his pen apart and started spit-balling at McGee. McGee was pissed of already. But this was the last straw. McGee got up off his chair and stalked to the elevator.

_I need to think of a way to prank Tony. So he will leave my alone. _McGee thought to himself. As if a light bulb had clicked on in his head, McGee smiled deviously. Chuckling to himself, he clicked the button to the car park.

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Tony was worried. He didn't want to make the Probie cry again...But more importantly he had spotted a red speck on Tim's blazer sleeve. Tony gasped as he replayed the scene in his head. _Was it blood?_ Tony scratched his head in frustration. Bishop noticed the confused face on Tony and therfore she asked "Tony? Whats up?" Tony looked at her. She saw a mixture of pain and sorrow, but most of all she noticed the guilt that had overwhelmed him. Bishop sighed "You feel guilty for pulling that prank don't you?" Tony only nodded. "Gear Up" Gibbs strolled in. _His timing is impeccable _ Tony thought.

Gibbs stopped dead in his tracks. "Were's McGee?" Tony and bishop exchanged glances. Tony shrugged. Gibbs groaned and continued to the elevator. "Call him, make sure his ass is at that crime scene before we get there" Gibbs instructed.

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_Tony will get his!_ McGee thought as he continued to set up the prank. Suddenly, His phone vibrated in his pocket. _Crap, it was Gi-Dad_ McGee thought. "Hello?"

"McGee, were are you?" Gibbs asked, he only called McGee 'Tim' when it was out of work.

"Um...sorting something out B-Dad"

"Like what?"

"Nothing important"

"We got a dead Navy Officer in Quantico, near the bay"

"Be right there"

**AFTER NOTE:**

**Next chapter should be about the prank xD **

**stay tuned to find out :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Back again with the 6th chapter, Sorry it's been so long i had all these crappy exams to do. :/**

**So far we have read that Gibbs is McGee's real father and he confesses it. What happens next? ;)**

**So have one viewer against McAbby...but i need more viewers to review and help make my decision :)**

**LOVING THE REVIEWS! Thank you so much. I always reply to my reviews.**

**Disclaimer: Don't tell anyone but i have the rights and i'm hiding in Gibbs Basement :D**

**Chapter 6:**

McGee arrived to the crime scene in a hysterical mood. Tony frowned and looked at the Probie in curiosity. "Whats up there McGiggle?" Tony taunted. The smile washed off McGee's face and was replaced with a blank expression. He shook it off and walked over to his father.

McGee wished Tony would stop calling him 'Probie', 'McGoo' and other stupid names. "C'mon McGee..it could be worse..you could be cranky bossman" Tony giggled. McGee nodded his head towards Tony. Tony wearily looked around to see the 'Cranky Bossman' Tony gulped. "hi boss" THWACK! Gibbs had only just head-slapped Tony. "Tony bag 'n tag, McGee shoot. NOW" Gibbs commanded. Tony nodded and strode towards the body.

"Hey McGee, isn't this your uncle?" Tony yelled. McGee ran up to tony, Avoiding the task he had just been given. His eyes widened in horror to see that the 'Navy Officer' was in fact his Uncle Tom. Gasping for air, McGee fell to his knees. His head was whirling like a hurricane. _He's dead...My uncle is...He's back. I must hide or he'll find me. _McGee scrambled up, grasping Tony's arm for support. Then he sprinted off...Just like last time._  
_

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McGee didn't bother to drive, instead he ran. He ignored his father's call and just kept on running. Not looking back. His heart was torn...no-shredded. He felt like a hollow outer shell. Everyone was all dead. He was alone-well apart from Sarah but the Admiral had brainwashed her into thinking he was to blame for Mother's death.

McGee's world had just crashed around him. He jogged behind a tree and sat beside it. He pulled out his combat knife and sighed. _Whats wrong with me? _McGee thought. He began to cut deeper than before, Whimpering as the blood poured out of his wound. Tears spilled over his eyes, making it difficult to see. "McGee!" A booming voice echoed around him. It was Gibbs. McGee gasped as he dropped the knife and began to sprint away.

He was pushed back by a brooding silhouette. McGee gasped, suddenly he couldn't breathe. "Hey there Timmy, did you like the presents i left you?" he grinned. His lips quivered excitedly. "I'm going to kill everyone you care about, then i'm coming back for you!" He giggled. McGee glanced to the floor, terrified. He began to hyperventilate. _I can't be near the team, I can't risk him hurting them_ McGee breathed deeply and looked up. He was gone.

McGee dashed to a nearby car and smashed the front window in. He then climbed in the jet black Impala and began to Hot wire the car. _It's a good job i can get this working._ The corner of his mouth twisted up in triumph as the car roared to life.

"McGee!" Shouted Gibbs, now standing directly in front of the car.

"You can't stop me Dad" McGee yelled. "I have to leave, He'll hurt everyone i love if i stay"

Gibbs stood there in shock. He had noticed the slices on McGee's wrist.

"McGee..you...did...that?"

McGee rolled his eyes and looked into his fathers eyes. "I'm depressed Dad, He;s back and i have to stop him."

Gibbs started to sprint to the car, Wide eyed McGee put the foot on the accelerator peddle and sped off. Leaving Gibbs alone with a tear in his eye...

**A/N:**

**Oh dear, Whats gonna happen now?**

**You'll have to wait and see!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I am so sorry for the long wait, i've been struggling to work on this as i'm working on my novel. **

**I want to wish everyone a merry christmas :)**

**I have decided to involve McAbby (please don't kill me) I feel this story needs a romantic backbone.**

**Disclaimer: I'm now hiding in Santa's sleigh! shhh**

**Chapter 7:**

It had been a long week since Tim had drove away from the crime scene. Everyone was frantically discussing who the 'Mystery Murderer' was and why he wanted McGee. Gibbs would stay all night searching through computer files. BANG!"I HATE computers!" Gibbs yelled ad he threw a punch at the computer. Rubbing his eyes, Tony walked over to where his distraught boss was and handed him a coffee. Gibbs stared at Tony as he placed the coffee on his desk. "Thanks DiNozzo" Tony smiled sadly, He missed the probie. Truth be told, Tony though of Tim as his little brother. Tony shed a tear and went back to the files.

The ding of the elevator shook Tony out of his trance. "Gibbs, Gibbs,Gibbs" Abby rushed up to Gibbs with a smile on her face. "What abs?" Gibbs voice cracked. Abby smiled and presented him with a letter. It read:

_To my team mates,_

_So i have just reached the border of Vegas, it's not as good as Tony said it was. I just wanted to write to you to say, i miss you, all of you. You guys where the only family i ever had. And i promise, i'll come home soon, i have to take care of something first._

_Yours faithfully,_

_TM_

Gibbs wiped his damp eyes. Abby hugged Gibbs. "we know that he is okay and that's all that matters". Gibbs nodded and looked up. _Come home soon my Son_ Gibbs pleaded.

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McGee stretched and looked at his wrist. It was 10AM."Oh crap!" McGee sat up in the cramped space of the car he had slept on. His hair stuck up in all climbed over to the drivers seat and turned the engine on. The car roared to life. _Time to move again_ Tim sighed and sped off.

When he stopped at the traffic lights he heard a patronizing scream. McGee pulled out his SIG Sauer P229R DAK and stepped out of the car. Slowly making his way to the alley, he shouted "NCIS come out with your hands up". He began to tremble. Suddenly, a broad shadow stepped out of the darkness. It was him. He pulled out an M9 and aimed it at McGee's chest. "Hello Son" It was the Admiral. McGee gulped "You are not my father". The Admiral cackled as he pulled the trigger. "I know Timothy"

**For the record a 'SIG Sauer P229R DAK' is a pistol. **

**This is a super short chapter but does have key information. I hope to update soon. Keep up the positive reviews ^.^**


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